April 1, 2015- Last One

Today I'm writing my last post. I'll admit that I'm a little nervous. I need consistency and a routine. That is how I thrive. Writing almost every night for the last 2 years has been one of those consistent things in my daily routine. I know it's going to be really weird not writing every night. However, I know that it is necessary.

 Writing has been feeling more like a chore than something that I look forward to and enjoy. I don't want to get stuck in that kind of a rut. I have a plan though of what I'm going to make my new routine and new consistent thing in my life. It will be nice to mix it up. The best part is that I'll always have my ability to write. I'm not being told to or forced to move on, I'm making that choice. One day I might make the choice to start back up again.

I know I'll probably check in once a week to see if people are still reading. It has been an amazing experience opening up and sharing my life. I'm glad I decided to do this and that I received such a great response. These past 2 years I've learned so much about myself and changed a lot. It will be nice to see this new chapter begin and take all that I've learned with me.

Thank you….and maybe I'll write again soon.

March 31, 2015- Natural Disaster

If you had to evacuate your home because of a natural disaster, what three things would you take with you?

We actually live in a high fire area and have had close calls where we have almost had to evacuate. When we were teenagers, my parents often had conversations with us about what we need to get if we were ever home alone and there was an evacuation. There is one item in our house that my parents have always told us we need to take because it carries important info. So, if I was home alone, I would take that first.

However, if I was not home alone there are 3 things I know for sure I would take. The first thing would be my dog Tyson. He would be the first thing I would pick up and put in the car. The next thing I would grab would be my computer. Not only would it help in communicating with people, but it has a lot of old pictures and important info on it. The last thing I would grab would be some food and water because who knows when I would get some again. Other than that, everything else I could buy again. I know a lot of people say they "can't live without…" but that's not true. As long as my family and my dog were safe, that's all I really need.

March 30, 2015- Dream Job

What is your dream job?

If I could have any job I would like to be a music producer on a television talk show. For example, I would love to work on Jimmy Kimmel Live and be in charge of all the musical guests. Make sure they have everything they need, get all their PR and marketing info for the host to say, have on the website, and any other place it's needed. I would even like to try and find new musical guests to come on the show. If I couldn't do that, I would love to work on a television show and choose the music that is played on the show. Basically, my dream job would involve music.

March 29, 2015- Try

What is one thing you have always wanted to try and do? What is holding you back from doing it?

One thing I have always wanted to try is skydiving. I don't know why, but it seems so fun. It's weird though, cause I have no desire nor would I ever bungee jump. I have a fear of the bungee breaking or me getting caught in it. With skydiving I don't have any fear like that. I think because I know I will be with someone who knows what they are doing. I'll just be there and along for the ride.

The reason I haven't is because with all my health issues I'm not sure it's really safe. I'm not sure if the jerking up when the parachute opens will be too aggressive on my back, and I'm not sure if the adrenaline will be too much for my heart. I've never looked into it, but the skydiving itch is getting stronger. I'll have to look into it soon so that I will know if my health issues will be the deciding factor.

March 28, 2015- Anywhere In The World

If you could go anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?

FIJI

I would love to lay out on that dock, jump in the water when it gets too warm, and repeat  that ALL DAY LONG.

March 27, 2015- Scars

Do you have any scars? What are their stories?

I think a better question is where don't I have any scars. I'll try and list them all.

I have a scar on my left shin from when I fell off a wall as a kid.

I have a scar on my left knee from falling while walking Tyson one afternoon. 

I have a scar on my right knee when I fell off my bike as a kid.

I have a scar on my stomach from my stomach surgery.

I have a scar on my chest from my heart surgeries.

I have a scar on my right elbow from when I fell off skateboard as a kid.

I have a scar on the middle of my back from my scoliosis surgery.

I have a scar under my chin from falling while playing hopscotch as a kid.

Needless to say, I have a lot of scars. I know I have even more but I either don't remember how I got them, or they are so faded from time that I don't realize they are there anymore. I don't always like them, but I DEFINITELY earned them all.

March 26, 2015- Fear

What is one fear that is holding you back? What is it holding you back from?

One fear that is holding me back is my fear of the past. I feel like I am in a very good place and have been for awhile. My doctor and I have been talking for awhile about the idea of coming off my medication. My fear is falling back into the place I once was. I know I'm different than I was. I know myself better and have overcome a lot of the things I was struggling with. However, it was such a miserable time that I do not wish to ever revisit.

I discussed with my doctor today about weaning off. We came up with a plan that I was comfortable with so I will be starting the process shortly. I know I can always start the medication again if I need to. I just feel like when I'm able to no longer take the medication, use the things I have learned the last few years, and be alright I will fully have moved on from that time in my life.Being afraid is holding me back from fully moving on. I'm hopeful though this will go well and I will get passed this fear well like I did all the others.